The Doctor and I
by whostuck123
Summary: Two mysterious guests appear on my doorstep. Soon, we're off to discover the mysteries of the world! What kind of perils lay in wait for us? This is a crossover between Doctor Who and Homestuck. Rated T for language and stuffs. I may or may not continue it depending on how well it's recieved. The beginning is by Kandyblood but the rest is by me.


I awoke slowly, yawning. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and smiled, _its my birthday_ I thought happily. I stood up and hopped over to the mirror. My reflection looked back at me, clothes rumpled and hair wild. I straightened my shirt and tugged at my hair, shrugging I deemed myself acceptable and swiftly walked over to my bedroom door.

Just as my fingers met the doorknob, the doorbell sounded from downstairs. I threw my door open quickly, meaning to go answer it, but my parents beat me to it. I heard the door open and somebody saunter inside. I eavesdropped curiously, wondering who it could be. I could only hear snippets of their conversation; all I gathered was that the mysterious visitor had a British accent. Suddenly, I heard a phrase from my mom that caught my attention.

"Sh! I don't think she's awake yet. Don't want to ruin the surprise," she said devilishly. I could almost hear the grin on her face.

Who the fuck could it be? I certainly didn't know anyone with an accent like that. Could it be a relative? Did we even have a relative from England? My racing thoughts were interrupted by another doorbell. _Something's up_, I thought suspiciously, and hurriedly stepped back into my room to change out of my crumpled clothes. I also thought to grab the brush and give a little effort to my untamed hair. By the time I opened my door again, I could hear talking and laughter drifting up the stairs.

I shook my head in bewilderment and walked down the stairs slowly, still trying to figure out who was visiting. I could hear a bubbly, somewhat dorky laugh coming from who must have been the second visitor. Both voices sounded male…hm. I finally walked into the kitchen and stopped dead in my tracks.

The Doctor and John Egbert were sitting at my kitchen table, chatting with my parents. The Doctor and John Egbert were sitting at my kitchen table. THE DOCTOR. AND JOHN. FUCKING. EGBERT! My mind was reeling. How was this even possible?! The Doctor was only on TV. John was a fictional character on the interwebs. They weren't real! Then how could they be sitting in my kitchen?! My dad looked up and saw me standing there, awestruck. He motioned me over, the biggest grin on his face, and gestured at John and the Doctor. They both stuck out their hands to shake mine in unison. They looked at each other uncertainly. Suddenly, it was a Rock Paper Scissors battle to the death, so to speak. The Doctor won and shook my hand first.

"You can call me the Doctor," he said, his eyes sparkling and a lopsided grin plastered on his face. In a daze, I shook his hand.

"Yeah I know. I mean, yeah its good to meet you…"

John butt in, casting an odd look at the Doctor, but quickly lost interest and turned his attention back over to me.

"Hi, I'm John!"

I shook his hand as well.

"Yeah so uh... Ok. I have to ask. What are you doing here?!"

My dad gave me a roguish wink over John's shoulder and my mom smiled at me. John laughed.

"Long story! It's your birthday, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

The Doctor interrupted John just as he was about to say something.

"Well, we've come to have a birthday dinner with you. Lovely things birthdays, never can get the day right. Tricky things to catch, birthdays are. It's like Easter. Never seem to find Easter. Always Christmas, never Easter. Well, except for this one time..." The Doctor continues rambling on, something about a worm hole and a flying bus? I cut him off before he could finish/

"Y-yeah, its great of you to come, actually."

We all migrated over to the table and sat down.

"Wow, so…how are you guys?" I asked awkwardly.

"I'm fine. You'd be surprised how much attention a big blue box can attract in a city like this, but I managed to find a place to put her in a nice area downtown. Your art museum is lovely by the way, remind me to stop there before I must be off."

"Great, how are you?"

Once again, the two of them spoke in unison, although John was drowned out by the Doctor. The Doctor was blissfully unaware of John's growing temper. I quickly butted in, not wanting a fight to break out.

"I'm great too! Do you know what's for dinner, Doctor?"

"I believe your parents have put something together. Quite agreeable people by the way, you must be very proud. You're very lucky to have them," the Doctor said pleasantly. I surreptitiously glanced at John out of the corner of my eye; no looks from him. Phew.

I just sort of ignored the Doctor's comment and turned to my mom. "So what's for eating then?"

"Oh, I just thought I'd order some pizza. Is that alright with all of you?"

I nodded.

"If it's not too much trouble, can we get one with pepperoni?" John added shyly. The Doctor frowned.

"I would much rather we just get cheese, actually. Cheese is a great invention, don't you think? Mozzarella is my favourite, and I especially like extra cheese on pizza because it gets all gooey and warm and melts in your mouth. Mmmm! Delicious!" The Doctor looks around smiling and finally notices the looks he's getting. "…I mean, if that's alright with you."

I interrupted again. "We can just get half and half, no need to argue."

I was fixed with two curious looks from either side. I shrank down in my chair a little bit.

"Don't worry, we won't!" John said a little too cheerfully. The meaningful glance he gave the Doctor did not go unnoticed by me, though my parents were oblivious.

"Great, we'll get a half with pepperoni half with extra cheese," my dad stated as he walked over to get the phone.

The next twenty minutes were borderline agonizing. John and The Doctor, as I found out, did not get along very well to say the least. I don't think I have ever been so thankful to see a pizza delivery guy in my entire life.

My dad brought in the pizza and set it down. We all dug in, but the tension between the two guests only got worse. Finally I couldn't stand it anymore and I got up to go to the bathroom. When I came back, John was yelling at the Doctor. My parents were nowhere to be found.

"You aren't so perfect and charming you know!" John yelled at the Doctor.

The Doctor is still sitting, but he put his glasses on. Shit just got serious. John didn't understand this and kept insulting the Doctor. He took out the Pogo Hammer. The Doctor almost laughed at this silly weapon. Almost. In a flash there was an all-out strife in my kitchen. The Doctor deflected every blow with his Sonic Screwdriver while John put all his might into smashing the Doctor with the hammer.

"STOP!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. Immediately, both parties quite their bickering. "I have had enough of this goddamn tension. Really. Can you PLEASE be more mature than this for FIVE. SECONDS?!" They both look down at their feet, shamed by my scolding. How I managed to shame a 900 year old alien, I'll never know.

The Doctor was the first to recover. "Now then. Now that that unpleasantness is out of the way, who wants to go on a little trip, hmm? We could go anywhere, anytime. Oh, and you can come too." He says as though he's granting a big honour upon John.

I can't help but smile. "How about the Lost City of Atlantis?"

The Doctor only smiles in return. "Why not." All three of us rush into the T.A.R.D.I.S and we're off to discover the mysteries of the world.


End file.
